We Are Family Page 18

  ‘I don’t know who would eat your food,’ Rachel teased, adding quickly when she saw his crestfallen face, ‘only that it’s way too good for anyone around here.’

  Tony looked satisfied with her answer. He was stretched out on the rug, leaning up on one elbow. ‘Maybe I’ll go to London one day and set up a restaurant of my own.’

  Rachel smiled at him. She’d never imagined that she would find somebody her own age in Stepmouth who also had ambitions. She was tempted to tell Tony about her own plans for her future, but they seemed so airy-fairy compared to his. The tangibility of his idea and the proof of his talent resting in her stomach made her much more excited than any of her own ideas. Unlike hers, his future seemed fabulously achievable.

  ‘I’ll come with you and be the manageress,’ she said, sitting up on her knees.

  ‘You want to be the boss, do you?’

  ‘Why not? Emily’s the boss of her place. Why shouldn’t I be in charge of something? I could make us a fortune!’

  Tony slowly smiled. Then he raised his bottle of ginger beer to clink with hers. ‘Why not indeed, Rachel Vale. Here’s to being the boss,’ he said.

  As Rachel smiled at him over the top of the bottle, she felt closer to being the person she wanted to be than ever before.

  Chapter XI

  Mallorca, Present Day

  ‘Look at you. Aren’t you just like your daddy?’ Rachel tickled Archie under the chin and laughed as he smiled and wriggled away from her.

  ‘Granny, look . . . ball!’ he replied, throwing his red ball away from them both, with a surprisingly strong overarm, so that it bounced down the terrace steps and on to the flint-and-marble-paved patio.

  ‘Go and get it, then.’

  Rachel waved to him, glad to have something to smile about at long last, glad she’d plucked up the courage to come to Mallorca. Glad, too, that she was still capable of doing something helpful, like babysitting for a morning for Claire while the nanny was on holiday and Claire had her fortnightly pedicure. It made Rachel feel normal again, as if she were a functional member of her own family, not somebody everyone was avoiding in case they accidentally upset her.

  It had been four months since Tony had gone and time seemed to be doing funny things to her. Maybe her sense of unreality was due to the fact that she was so drained and weary, exhausted with the process of grieving, but she felt as if she hadn’t been to Sa Costa for ten years. Now she wished she’d come before. Instead, she’d endured day after day of cold, grey drizzle, the wind whistling eerily around Dreycott House in the dark nights as she failed to sleep. She’d meant to go up to the apartment in London, but somehow she hadn’t been able to face it.

  But this morning, when she’d been woken up by the bright sunshine pouring in through the window, Rachel had heard the birds chirruping as they nested in the eves of the house and she’d felt vaguely normal once more. And as she’d opened the window and breathed in the scent of the flowers trailing across the sill and heard the distant whisper of the sea it had felt as if she’d woken up after months in a coma.

  Now, sitting here in the gentle mid-morning breeze, the heat warming her bones, it felt as if everything had changed in her absence. She couldn’t remember when the row of spiky orange flowers which looked so neat against the trimmed box hedges had been chosen and planted, she didn’t recall the lawns ever looking so densely green, or the striped blue-and-white canvas canopy over the terrace so faded. She’d never noticed so many geckos darting up the walls to where they rested in the shade of the thick trunk of the vine, or known the vine itself to bloom so abundantly.

  And not only did she feel that her home had changed, but Archie had changed too. She hadn’t paid much attention to him at Tony’s funeral, but since she’d last seen him, he’d learnt to talk properly and seemed to be growing phenomenally fast.

  If only she could freeze time and keep him just as he was, she mused, watching him as he hurried away in his little blue checked shorts towards where his toys were laid out on the wooden sunlounger, chattering away in a monologue about his ball and train.

  She knew she was being indulgent, but she’d spent too many years feeling guilty about favouritism towards her own children, so what harm was there in admitting that she loved Archie so much more than Christopher’s son Thomas? Thomas was always crying and was so mollycoddled, but Archie had that same fragile quality that Claire had had as a child and it made her feel more protective towards him than ever. He was her legacy. The reminder of all the good things that she and Tony had done together.

  Rachel turned as the terrace door slid open behind her and Laurie appeared, carrying a tray, laden with a cafetière and cups. She could smell the aroma of freshly ground coffee beans and the sweet, fresh pastries Fabio had delivered this morning. Rachel cleared the papers she’d been reading to make room on the slatted wooden table for the tray.

  Laurie had insisted when Rachel had arrived late last night that Rachel’s weekend visit wouldn’t disturb her, but now that she was here Rachel wondered whether Laurie wasn’t just being polite. But even if she was, Rachel thought selfishly, she was pleased that they were having this opportunity to talk properly together. Her curiosity about her niece had only increased since they’d last met, and she’d been thinking about Laurie working out here over the past three weeks.

  ‘Honestly, that child melts my heart,’ Rachel said, nodding towards Archie who was throwing his ball towards the flower bed and making for the brand new bike on the lawn. ‘He’s so clever.’

  Laurie didn’t say anything, but Rachel couldn’t help noticing that she glanced rather sternly at Archie as she bent over the table to put the tray down.

  ‘I’m not very good with children.’

  ‘Nonsense. I think Archie likes you. Anyway, it’s different when you have children of your own. You’ll see.’

  ‘To be honest, I can’t see it happening for quite some time.’

  Laurie was wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat and a tatty green sundress, which emphasised her sun-kissed freckled skin. As she poured the coffee into the cups, Rachel wanted to tell her not to leave it too late to settle down and start a family. She’d never been so aware, as she had been since Tony’s death, that time was so precious. But despite their candid conversation so far this morning, she knew she couldn’t be so personal with Laurie. Still, she was amazed that someone as attractive as her wasn’t at least engaged to some handsome arty type. Or maybe that wasn’t what young women wanted these days. Laurie had certainly made it clear that her career was her priority.

  Rachel applauded Archie, as he called out to her to watch him pedalling over the grass.

  ‘Grandchildren are wonderful. It’s wonderful seeing them and then even more wonderful handing them back when they get too much. Although, in my case, sometimes that doesn’t happen,’ she added, accepting the coffee Laurie handed to her.

  Rachel was determined to come clean about a few family facts. But now she found herself struggling to find the right words, and her oblique hint at the truth hadn’t captured Laurie’s attention.

  It had been years since she’d had to mention Anna. In that time, Claire had become so much like her own daughter that Rachel almost managed to forget sometimes that she wasn’t. Would Laurie judge her for what had happened? Would she think that Rachel had been a bad parent to Anna? But she would only judge her if she were to know the whole story and there was no need for her to know anything other than the bare details.

  ‘I was just thinking that I feel so old sometimes, especially when I see how quickly Archie is growing,’ she said with a sigh. ‘You know, of course, that he’s actually my great-grandson. That’s why he’s so special. Claire’s my granddaughter, you see. Although Tony and I brought her up as our own.’ She took a sip of coffee, aware that she had Laurie’s full attention now. ‘Claire’s mother, Anna, died when she was barely twenty. Claire was just a baby. We adopted her as our daughter. That’s why she’s so much younger than Christopher and
Nick.’

  Rachel managed to make it sound as if they’d done the most natural thing in the world. It amazed her how a lifetime’s career as a businesswoman had taught her the skill of glossing over unpleasant facts, so that she could dress up even the most horrible trauma as a happily-ever-after fairy tale. But one look at Laurie and Rachel could see instantly that she hadn’t fooled her with her flippant tone.

  ‘I had no idea. What happened?’

  ‘With Anna?’

  Rachel thought about telling her the details. ‘It’s so long ago . . . It’s just . . . well, everything has turned out for the best as far as Claire is concerned. Anna was very ill and depressed.’ Rachel heard her voice crack. ‘You know what? Can we talk about it another time? I can’t think about Anna. It’s too much. It reminds me of Tony and –’

  ‘Oh, Rachel, I’m so sorry. We’ve been so busy chatting and I haven’t even asked you how you’re coping?’

  Rachel took off her sunglasses and laid them on the table. She knew that without them she looked tired and haggard. She felt vulnerable, as if she were revealing two black eyes.

  ‘Most days I seem to be able to function, but it all seems unreal. I seem to yo-yo all the time between perfectly fine and being a wreck a moment later. Like now,’ she said, exasperated with herself as she fought back yet more unexpected tears. ‘I’ve been feeling so angry with Tony in these last few weeks. Everything has been making me furious. Poor Tony. I keep blaming him for everything.’

  ‘I suppose it’s natural.’

  Rachel shook her head in denial. How could she explain how frustrating this was? She hated being this fragile and out of control. Why wasn’t she coping better? She was amazed that she was admitting her feelings again to this young woman. And yet it felt right to trust Laurie.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said, glancing at her niece who was sitting calmly, her arms folded on the table.

  Laurie batted away Rachel’s apology and smiled gently. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘You know, coming here was so hard,’ Rachel admitted. ‘Tony and I had so many good times here. I thought it would be too painful. It is too painful in a way. I’m so glad you’re here, Laurie.’

  ‘Maybe you should be on your own, though. I can make myself scarce if it’d be easier for you.’

  ‘Please don’t.’

  ‘You know, I wouldn’t feel guilty. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel angry. I think Dad did when Mum died, but it was different, I suppose. She was ill for such a long time, that by the time she went, he was ready to say goodbye. I think that’s why he recovered so quickly.’

  Rachel looked away at the horizon. She wanted to tell Laurie that Bill was lucky. He’d said goodbye to his wife, but she hadn’t had the chance with Tony. But how could she expect Laurie to understand that having someone you love the most unexpectedly torn away from you was the most cruel thing that could ever happen to a person?

  She didn’t want to turn bitter, not like her mother had, but Rachel couldn’t help feeling recently that she was being punished. The way in which Tony had gone seemed too calculated. Too cruel. Which is why she’d started to bargain with herself. If she made herself do the one thing that had been impossible to do all her adult life and to reach a reconciliation with her brother, then she could prove that the impossible was possible. And if she did that, then Tony would come back and everything would be normal again. Or at the very least, she’d come to terms with him being gone.

  ‘How is Bill? Did you tell him about the funeral, about coming here?’ she asked, pulling herself together.

  Laurie shook her head and sat back in her chair and clasped her hands across her flat stomach. As she talked about her father, Rachel felt as if she were looking at herself fifty years ago, lamenting the same problem. Bill clearly hadn’t changed. He was as stubborn as ever. And now here he was hurting another generation in the same way he’d hurt her. Rachel placed her coffee cup on the table.

  ‘I need to see him, Laurie. The thing is . . . I want you to ask him to visit you here. Not right away, but soon. We could plan it together.’

  ‘He wouldn’t come.’

  ‘But he wouldn’t have to know I was here. In fact, in some ways it’s perfect that he doesn’t know the truth. If you could only get him out here, then I’d be able to do the rest –’

  Rachel stopped herself. She could tell she’d pushed it too far. She’d wanted to wait a while, until she’d really got to know Laurie, before she voiced her plan, not blurt it out straight away. It felt as if she were asking Laurie to take sides. And she knew only too well how that felt.

  But something in Laurie’s expression told Rachel that she wasn’t listening anyway. Almost at the same instant, she heard a loud splash from the direction of the swimming pool.

  Laurie pushed back her chair so fiercely as she stood up that it fell over. Her coffee cup smashed on to the terrace. But Laurie didn’t stop. She was running towards the pool.

  As if in slow motion, Rachel felt herself rising to her feet, her scream coming out with such a force that the crows in the trees on the other side of the pool flapped, squawking into the air. Archie had fallen in.

  Laurie’s sprint turned seamlessly into a dive as she flung herself into the water. Rachel saw her shoes and her hat fly off in mid-air. For a terrifying moment, she vanished. And then a second later, Laurie’s head appeared, followed by Archie’s. She hauled him on to the side of the pool holding him upright by the stomach, while she flipped out on to the side beside him. By the time Rachel reached them both, Laurie had gently lifted Archie on to her knee and was patting his back as he coughed.

  ‘Oh God!’ Rachel panicked. ‘I should have been watching. Oh God! Oh Archie . . .’

  ‘It was an accident.’

  ‘If anything happened to him –’

  ‘It didn’t.’ Laurie sounded decisive. How could she be so calm? Rachel stared down at her, her dress flattened to her body, her hair dripping down her face, but she seemed completely unruffled. ‘He’s fine. Aren’t you, Archie?’

  Archie nodded and looked so forlorn that Laurie laughed gently, before squeezing him in a tight hug. ‘There. It’s all over now. Look at us. We’re all wet. What will your mummy say?’

  ‘He could have drowned,’ Rachel said. ‘He could have drowned and it would have been my fault. I wasn’t watching him. And now Claire . . . Claire will think –’

  The next thing she knew, Laurie was supporting her to her feet. She felt her arm around her shoulders.

  ‘It’s over,’ she was saying, firmly. Then she leant in close to her. ‘You’re frightening Archie, Rachel. Just try and calm down. Now, I’m going to get us both dried off. I want you to go inside and lie down. Everything’s fine. Let’s not make a big deal of it. OK?’

  Rachel jolted awake. She could see through the open double doors to where Claire was talking to Laurie in the hall. She scrambled to her feet, a hollow feeling of embarrassment covering her like a slick of sweat. She didn’t know which was more shameful: that she’d allowed Archie to fall into the pool, or that she’d overreacted the way she had, or that, inexplicably, she’d fallen asleep and left Laurie to deal with Archie. Brenda, who’d been looking after her in Dreycott House had been right after all. She should consult the doctor and get something to level her out.

  Rachel smoothed down her white linen trousers. She’d never been a hysterical type of woman. She’d never lost her head in front of her family. Thank God for Laurie, she thought, hurrying out into the hall.

  ‘Oh, Claire –’ Rachel began, but Laurie silenced her with a look.

  She’d changed into a paint-splattered white vest and a pair of frayed denim shorts which showed off her toned legs and dirty bare feet. She looked like a tomboy next to Claire, who was dressed in raw-silk silver trousers and a satin halter-neck silver top, the sun catching the bronze highlights in her long hair as she stood in the open doorway. Her newly varnished toenails glittered in her open-toed stiletto sandals.

&n
bsp; ‘As I said,’ Laurie’s tone was deliberately pointed for Rachel’s benefit, as she handed over a bag to Claire. ‘I’m sorry his clothes are a bit wet. It was my fault. We were playing around . . .’

  Rachel was astonished at the ease with which Laurie could tell such a white lie.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ said Claire, looking disinterestedly into the dripping carrier bag and then down at Archie who was wearing a pair of dungarees which were way too small. Rachel wondered where on earth Laurie had found them.

  ‘We went swimming,’ Archie explained, looking at Laurie, who winked at him and ruffled his hair with her fingertips.

  ‘Yes we did. You’re quite a daredevil, aren’t you, young man?’

  But Claire ignored them both, turning her attention to Rachel. ‘There you are. I’m taking you out for lunch. We’ll drop Archie off at the crèche and then I’ve booked a table for two at Reed’s.’

  Rachel glanced at Laurie.

  ‘No, no, I mean, two o’clock, not necessarily for two,’ Claire explained quickly, realising her faux pas.

  ‘Thanks, but I’ve got work to do,’ Laurie said, ducking past Rachel and disappearing up the marble staircase. ‘Bye-bye, Archie. Keep out of trouble.’

  There was a small pause as she left. Then Claire smiled at Rachel and Rachel realised how much she’d missed her.

  ‘Please, darling, can’t we stay here?’ Rachel pleaded. ‘I feel like I’ve only just arrived. And, well, Reed’s is so showy.’

  ‘We don’t have to if you really don’t want to. I wanted to spoil you, that’s all,’ Claire said, but Rachel could tell how disappointed she was. ‘We haven’t been out together for ages. I thought it would be nice –’

  ‘OK, OK, I’ll come, but I want you to promise to come for dinner tomorrow. I want us to spend some family time here.’

  ‘I’m not sure about Sam. I’ll have to check.’

  Rachel could tell by her tone that she didn’t mean that he’d be busy with work. She watched Claire watching Archie, who was playing with the umbrellas in the stand by the door.